Susanna Wesley - The Real Truth

Have you heard the same story about Susanna Wesley as I did as a young mother?  Have you heard a speaker tell women the story of how Susanna spent an hour a week with each of her children and she had seventeen?  And if we mothers would just rear sons like Susanna did, (she was the mother of John and Charles Wesley) we would have godly sons, and the world would be a better place.  I did not realize it at the time, but that is such feminist thinking!  If we just had some men to rear godly sons, the world might be a better place.  Let’s put the responsibility where it belongs.  Men are to be the patriarchs and leaders of their homes teaching and training their sons for God.  But that is an aside and not the point of this article.

After hearing this, as a new Christian and young mother, I went home and desperately tried to give each of my children one hour alone each week.  I only had three, and it was still very difficult to do this.  What with Christian school, after school activities, church three times a week, and finding time to ‘do something for the Lord’ on top of all that, needless to say, I failed.  I just wasn’t going to be as good a mother as Susanna Wesley. 

I labored under the guilt and the manipulation of that story of Susanna Wesley for many years.  And then my heavenly Father gave me a biography of Mrs. Wesley, which contained the real truth, and, like always, the real truth set me free from the false guilt of trying to emulate a fictitious Susanna.

I know you must be curious by now.  So here is the real scoop on Susanna!  Yes, she had seventeen children, but ten died in infancy.  She did not start spending an hour a week with her children until years later.  So she did not spend an hour a week with each of seventeen children!  She only spent seven hours!  Oh, yes.  Another minor detail.  Her children did not go off to Christian school to be absent from her for forty hours a week.  She schooled her children at home!  They spent all their time with her.  And, can you believe this?  She had a maid.  After dinner, the maid took all the children and bathed them and cared for them the rest of the evening!  She was completely free after dinner.  Wouldn’t you love for someone to care for all that dinner mess, and whisk the children to the nursery, and enable you to enjoy a quiet time at home every evening? 

And did you know that Samuel Wesley, Susanna’s husband, left his wife for over a year because she was so stubborn as to not yield to his judgment over a political disagreement they had?  She never did yield.  He came home despite her refusal to yield.  Why do not the speakers ever encourage us to be a wife like Susanna?  They would not have wanted a wife like her! 

When I read this book, I laughed in delight, and I had some serious  thoughts.  It is in no one’s best interest to set up a standard that most mothers could not meet.  Christian women are some of the most defeated and discouraged women in the world, and this should not be.  There are no super Christian women.  There never have been, and there are not any now.  Women are women, saved by the grace of God.  They have a job to do—being helpmeets and mothers.  Holding up others as a standard is unbiblical.  (I know Paul said “follow me,” but he was meaning to follow him as he followed the Lord, not be like him.  But he also warned us not to compare ourselves one to another for it leads only to pride or discouragement.)  When others are held up, we are forced into the comparison trap which II Corinthians 10:12 forbids.  All this “self-esteem” mess originates from the comparison lies.  We are forced to compare how we are doing with others.  If we are doing better than others, we have good self-esteem.  If we are doing worse, we have low self-esteem.  No man would like his wife to hold up other men as a standard to be matched.  No woman needs her husband to hold up other women as a model for her.  And I do believe that in a church setting, when others are held up as super Christians, it only causes people to feel discouraged, and see themselves as failures.  Is this what we are after? 

Jesus is our model.  We are to walk in His steps.  We are sisters in Christ.  We are not in competition with each other, nor are we in competition with our sisters who have gone on to Heaven before us.  Susanna was a woman who loved God.  She had a very difficult life.  Her life was a process of growth just like our lives are a process of growth.  As we learn of God, He conforms us to His likeness.  Ladies, we need to stop looking at each other.  When we look, we compare; we are forced to make judgements, and we have no love for each other.  You cannot love another while trying to be as good as or better than another.  Do we need  women’s conferences that hold up women in such positions of esteem?  I cannot recall a time in the Bible where God called all the women together to a ladies meeting.  God called the men, but never the women.  Ladies, we can have a great meeting anytime we get alone with the only person Who has the power to change our lives and encourage us, and that person is Jesus.

We need to stop trying to be a good Christian.  We need to stop living a role.  We need to stop trying to live up to someone else’s definition of what a good Christian woman is. 

We need to read our Bibles and come to know God in an ever closer and more intimate way.  We need to live up to His expectations.  We need fear of the Lord, and we need to walk an ever narrowing walk with our Lord.  We need to love our husbands as they have never been loved before.  We need to love our children and teach them God’s Word daily, even hourly.  We need to be servants of others ministering to their needs.  We need meekness, and gentleness, and a quiet spirit.  Our need is for the Lord to fill up our hearts and minds with His thoughts and love.  Remember, you cannot hear the still small voice in the loud clamor of an overly busy life.  “Be still and know that I am God . . .” —Psalm 46:10.

Remember, the truth shall set you free.  Don’t labor under misconceptions and false guilt.  Search for the truth and when you find it, it shall set you free, and your heart will be filled with peace and joy.

Susan

Keepers of the Faith  ©1994     All Rights Reserved

Susanna Wesley by Charles Ludwig, part of the Sower Series   

I had read this book years ago and upon rereading it, felt that it is a book that might not be best for children, or at least not without adult supervision to correct the wrong misconceptions presented in the book.  Basically, it is very informative about the history and times of Susanna, but it tends to be very feminist.  During the year when Susanna’s husband left her over a political argument, she not only believed, and continued to believe that she was right, but had no intention of ever submitting to her husband.  This, of course, was sin.  Because it is still history, we do not object to this being put into the book.  Susanna sought for advice from those who would support her position, and, as always, one can find people to support their wrong doing.  What we object to is the author’s support of the wrong doing.  On page 122, after her husband returns home, the author states “Here, in spite of the charred timbers and stench of smoke (they had had a fire), Samuel Wesley once again became a loving, considerate person.”  What is the implication?  Samuel had been unloving and inconsiderate not to yield to Susanna.  Samuel was wrong.  Susanna was right and Samuel had been acting like a jerk.  The whole biography portrays Susanna as the strong, good woman married to a not so responsible man.  It is one thing for a discerning adult to read this biography, but this is written for children who are always impressionable.

Copyright 1994 Keepers of the Faith   All Rights Reserved