What Are Your Children Reading About You?

Are our children reading about us? For many of us, they do not often read our names in print. However, if they are reading books for young people, they are often being taught what to think of us. They are being taught so by the authors of the books they read. These authors often teach them to evaluate us—and not so often by the criteria that we consider sensible and Christian. Unfortunately, if we take the time to explore what some books are teaching our children about us, we might be very disappointed. Am I talking about the awful children’s literature that we might see in the public library, or even the school system? No, I wish I were. We are all well aware of dangers that may lurk there. But what I am talking about is that which is being served up as character-building, Christian literature that we can trust. The question arises as to what kind of character some of these books really seek to build. Do they seek to build the character that we wish to build? Do they seek to teach our children to value our insight as parents, and to follow our counsel and example? Or do they subtly imply the philosophies and intents of authors?—philosophies which may not be consistent with our own?—philosophies that may not even respect our judgment? If they do the latter, we, of course, might be surprised to find them under the label of Christian literature, but this is occurring with alarming regularity today. Actually, we are now receiving such fare far more often than not from purveyors of "Christian" literature.

As a case in point, we will use for discussion purposes, a group of books we reviewed that were written by an author named Elizabeth Yates. Years ago, shortly before this article was originally written, for a short time we listed a couple of Elizabeth Yates’ books in our Keepers of the Faith catalog. Others we had not yet read, and as we read, others we simply could just not support. The first few books seemed relatively harmless, and we chose to carry them because of their outward support of certain character traits, such as industriousness and discipline. Such traits are in relatively short supply in children’s reading nowadays. So, we decided to try to cull what was available.

Then we read Sarah Whitcher’s Story, which is about a little girl who gets lost in the wilderness. She is kept warm while sleeping through the nights with a friendly bear (a friendly bear?). She is rescued by a complete stranger who walks three days to help find her. He, by some mystic power, not only knows that she is lost, but "knows" where she is. Without wanting to think that the book was outright New Age, we did find it akin to "hocus-pocus." At this point, the title, Sarah Whitcher’s Story, seemed all too appropriately suggestive of the tale. Then came The Journeyman and Hue and Cry. The Journeyman is discussed below, and a review of Hue and Cry can be found in the Book Review Section on this site. After reading these, we knew that we had better look again at the first two books because we had likely missed a few subtleties. We felt the author who had written these last two books could not write truly healthy literature for children. Rereading the first books with a better understanding of this author’s philosophies plainly verified this.

Now, how does all of this tie in with what your children read about you? First, we must remember that children read books with very simplistic intentions. They are easily swept up by romantic notions and passages. They seldom read analytically, and tend to readily believe and adopt whatever they read, especially if it is interesting or even exciting. Their interest and excitement blurs any little discernment that they may possess. This makes them prime targets for any author with any agenda. Sadly, any interesting story can be inoculated with toxic ideas which will readily be absorbed by the young reader right along with the plot. A vacuum cleaner does not discriminate among the items it collects. Neither does a young, interested, impressionable reader. Where this affects parents, and too often undermines their children’s trust in them, is in the fact that some of the most subtle yet noxious ideas found in children’s books involve parents. Oh, they are not stated directly. That would be obvious. They are implied—implied in very captivating stories.

For instance, in most of Ms. Yates books the protagonist is a child (usually a teen). The child often has a hero to whom he looks for support and guidance. That person is an outsider—never one of the parents. Throughout her books fathers are usually treated as foreign and incapable of understanding the finer, more emotional things in the life of the young person. Often this level of "understanding" is only reached by "artistic and sensitive spirits," in other words, "special" people.

The idea of "special people" deserves a word here. Something that authors nearly always imply in introducing the young reader to these "special" people is that we should all strive to be special—not industrious in our work, not persevering through hardships, not faithful even if we must stand alone—but special in that one is not like all those industrious, persevering, faithful, boring people. This is often what germinates the initial seeds of rebellion in an otherwise obedient young person. After naturally empathizing with one of these "special" characters in a book, a child may begin to adopt new behavioral traits just to be special or different—at least from his parents. You see, parents most often must lead industrious, persevering, faithful lives just to be real parents. They are all too easy, for a young person, thus influenced, to see as being boring and obtuse since that is the way many authors are portraying parents in the books that their children read.

At first parents often think that the child is just struggling to find an identity. However, the real problem is that the child is assuming an identity. This is an identity the parents know nothing about because they teach their children nothing of the sort. This identity was taught by a secret that they know not of. The child has been taught to seek a "special" identity—some way of being different, doing what he or she likes to do, something the boring obtuse people do not understand because they do not understand the emotional needs of "special" people. This identity is in no way needed; however the child has been programmed to think it quite valuable.

Some of you parents may remember a book (also a movie), popular when we were children, called Shane. Shane was a gunfighter trying to go straight who came to live with and work for a mundane, peaceable farmer and his family. Of course, being a gunfighter is seen as much more exciting than being a farmer. To make the story short, situations continually came up in which Shane was more talented than the farmer dad. The farmer was an ordinary dad, yet very stout and every bit a man, himself. But in every situation that arose, Shane was more talented or smarter. He had smarter ideas about doing a job, he knew the lay of the land with the town boss better, he could fist-fight better, and in the end, of course gunfight better. In the end, Shane performs a selfless act to save the decent people in the town. This is certainly admirable, but the real effect of the story is the mind pollution with which the reader is left.

The damage done to a generation that was influenced with the desire to be smarter than Dad, more worldly than Dad, talented (rather than industrious), slick and "special," was evidenced in the peace-sex-drug movement that swept the young adults of this country in the 1960's. The continual "stoned" demonstrations were the voice of an immature generation saying, "We’re smarter and we could do it better." This was not due to this single story. It was a recurrent theme in the Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew series in which teens always outsmarted adults. It was being proliferated nearly everywhere one looked. During the story Shane, he admonishes the young boy in the family several times to "grow up to be like your dad," but, even in the story, who does that young boy want to be like? One could wishfully hope that the youngster would see the value of following in his dad’s footsteps as he matures. But, alas the years of youth are the formative years, and the mindsets unknowingly formed during these years are very often carried throughout life. Many are carried as subconsciously as they were assimilated. So, whom will the young reader wish to be like—Shane or the farmer dad? Let’s do a simple test. How many of you who read the book were so impressed with the dad (and wanted to grow up to be like him) that you remember his name? Interesting, eh?

In The Journeyman, Jared is the young main character. His father is pictured as insensitive and even abusive. He is a hard-working farmer portrayed as having no understanding of the finer, artistic things in life about which Jared daydreams continually, rather than applying himself diligently to very necessary farm work. The father is also of a mind that it is in Jared’s best interest to develop some of that same diligence. Of course, the author frames things in such a way that the young reader understands that the father is completely wrong. He just has no understanding. Jared is just not suited to ordinary farm work. He is destined for much better things. Jared’s talents don’t lie in the mundane types of work that occupy all the ordinary people in life. He has talent. He should pursue what he likes, not be mired down with the idea of rising to the duties of life.

Now, the father is portrayed as being mean, and his general meanness of character is used by the author to augment the acceptability of this concept in the reader’s mind. So, what comes across to the reader is that parents who expect children to work, do not understand the "dreams" of their children, and that is the reason for discord between them. The truth is that parents need to teach their children to work industriously and diligently in order to just be able to realize any worthwhile dreams. In fact, these traits are essential to a person’s completeness and maturity whether dreams are realized or not. The parents who understand and pursue these goals are often being read about by their children, who are being taught to see their parents as wrong. The Bible teaches, "Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might;" —Ecclesiastes 9:10. But many authors teach otherwise. In this book, instead of being a dissatisfied ingrate, Jared should be diligently performing his chores, "giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ;" —Ephesians 5:20.

Speaking of ingrates, this kind of reading does wonders for destroying gratitude toward parents. That lack of gratitude is one of the earmarks of the generation of the 1960s mentioned earlier. If anything, it is more prevalent in succeeding generations, as authors have made this ploy a staple in garnering the interest of young people—"Christian" authors included. Parents beware—our children cannot continually be exposed to wrong examples and have right attitudes.

This misguided concept is further accomplished in this particular book by portraying all those normal, mundane, boring people, who pursue their duties ahead of enjoying their talents, as less intelligent or even churlish and superstitious. Think about it. Do your teens romantically dream of being much smarter and more sensitive, talented, and successful than you are? Do they envision being above your mundane existence? Do they lack a real gratitude for the life you have given them? Is this why our young girls do not want families, because they want to be something "better" than the God-given job of helpmeet and mother? Is that why they revolt from God’s Word, and believe that what it teaches is wrong, because they have been taught that there is something better?

Parents, I hope that you experience none of this ever, but if you do, check what your children are reading. Much of the blame lies in the fact that they read literature that continually superimposes frivolous fancy over the truths and realities of life. The people who learn to develop maturity and moral strength are those who learn to do a good job of what comes to hand, and are those who become the fine and unselfish people in life. Philippians 2:14 says, "Do all things without murmurings and disputings . . ."

We need to be very careful about what is being billed as Christian literature for our children. Little of it is Christian nowadays. My understanding of Christian literature is literature that may be life-changing in the area of one’s Christian walk in a positive way. In a best case scenario, which should be the norm for Christian writing, it should contain no negatives. Consider how this story could have read. It could have contained all the same sins and exerted a truly positive influence. It could have told about Jared’s struggle to conquer these sins of laziness, ingratitude, bitterness, selfishness, murmuring, etc. The author could have exposed sin as sin instead of glorifying it as "being the best or most you can be." She could have given the reader a real glimpse into Christianity as it is in the Bible—a life of throwing off sin—being what God wants us to be—maybe the least instead of the best or most. The reader could have been shown the foolish error of such a life and how to strive to correct these things. The very same set of circumstances could have been used to show how a Christian can thrive in them instead of letting the reader come away with a blunted sense of character development.

Would the story have been less exciting? Stories about personal struggles can be as gripping as those about external struggles. They are only found unappealing by those who do not at all care about such things. If the reader does not care, and finds the story uninteresting, there is certainly no help for that in glorifying sin as if it were a virtue. Remember, we are talking here about Christian literature. Why make it unchristian in order to make it interesting—or then why call it Christian?

In Ms. Yates’ novels, this artistically inclined individual is an archetype that is always elevated above the more practical folk, in talent, and even in character, though the idea of real character is often inconsistent with the kind of lives in which it is depicted. It is a foolish and worldly notion to consider someone with artistic talent more talented than someone without it. I once knew a young man who graduated from college with a degree in art. He was unable to obtain work, of course, because there is not much real demand in this area except among a few rich folk. So, the young man went to truck driving school. After graduating from truck driving school, he found a job with a local carrier. Within a month he had destroyed two trucks, was let go, and was told not to try to get another job driving a truck. Who says that artistic people are more talented than the rest of us? Which is the more useful talent—to paint a picture of an apple, or to haul a truckload to market to feed people? And how about the greasy mechanic who keeps that truck running for literally millions of miles? Not much talent there, I suppose. We need to stop comparing people’s talents, and we especially need to stop teaching our young people to favor their own. Work ethic is what gets things done, anyway—not talent. Proverbs 6:6-8 says, "Go to the ant, thou sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise: which having no guide, overseer, or ruler, provideth her meat in the summer, and gathereth her food in the harvest."

Now, good parents know these things, but, often, as I said earlier, books like those by Ms. Yates represent such parents in a very negative fashion. Such are often portrayed as lacking understanding and sentiment when they do not concur with the wishes and emotions of young people. The most probable result here, we feel, is that the feelings of distance, and even enmity, that the child feels for such parents in a story will, in some measure, be reflected back into real life. There have been numerous studies that have proved that we humans are thus affected by such influences. We actually seldom know of it consciously, though we carry the effects for years—even to our graves.

Upon close inspection, these are just a few of the harmful concepts that we found in Ms. Yates books. Others are found in the list below. That is why we decided not to carry books by this author any longer.

Some concepts to look out for in prereading material for children are discussed in the following section. I know. You are asking yourself, "Prereading?" Yes, prereading. Parenting is work, folks. How many of us would let our children crawl around in the woods and eat whatever they please without us checking to see if it was harmful? That which is ingested with the eyes is often more damaging than that which is ingested with the mouth. When our children were at home, we preread, and usually discussed with our children, everything that they read, until our daughter began to exceed one thousand pages per week (she was a natural speed reader), and we could no longer possibly keep up with her. This did cause problems before we knew it, and we have sometimes wished, as bad as it sounds, that we had just banned further reading, and restricted her to that of which we had firsthand knowledge.

The following is a list of some of the most common misconceptions to look for in children’s reading material. You might want to give this list to your children also, so that they can learn to recognize waste when they encounter it.

1. Authors often depict ordinary parents, busy with the mundane tasks of life, as insignificant in comparison to persons who are in a more glorified position in life. Jesus made no attempt to achieve any station in this life or to receive any glory. Isaiah 53:2 says of Him, "For he shall grow up before him as a tender plant, and as a root out of a dry ground: he hath no form nor comeliness; and when we shall see him, there is no beauty that we should desire him." Christian reading material should encourage young people to become humble, Christlike parents, and not to strive in worldly pursuits.

2. Children are often represented as capable of making their own decisions, and as equal to, or smarter than, their parents in such matters. Authors often depict a child deciding whether he/she should make his/her parents aware of a given situation, and whether or not even to seek to be advised, let alone instructed. Proverbs 15:5 says, "A fool despiseth his father's instruction: but he that regardeth reproof is prudent." Proverbs 12:15 says, "The way of a fool is right in his own eyes: but he that hearkeneth unto counsel is wise." Proverbs 20:5 says, "Counsel in the heart of man is like deep water; but a man of understanding will draw it out." Fools have no need of advice from parents, but a young person of understanding seeks it earnestly. The idea of restricting a child to more understanding sounds backwards, but that is very often exactly how things work with Christian reading materials. Young people do not need to "learn to handle things in their own way," they need to learn to handle things in the right way! And learning both ways will soon cause them problems.

Children have a natural tendency to blunder in this area already. To encourage this by leading unsuspecting young readers to believe that such irrationalism often turns out for the best simply inflicts harm on children and parents. Unfortunately, this is a common building-block for many authors, and there will never be a shortage of those. As parents, are we supplying books to our young people that teach them to trust us, or teach them to put their faith in themselves and those whom they can "count on" to agree with them?

While it is true that during the teen years youngsters develop ample mental acuity, it is also true that on a spiritual, mental, and emotional plane they lack experience, maturity, and stability. They are often still unable to balance their thought processes, and put situations in proper perspective, simply because of what they do not yet know, or have not yet learned for themselves. This is not to say that they cannot see more clearly than an adult who uses his years of experience to cloud issues rather than focus on them, but even opening the door of comparing teens favorably to those kinds of adults is dangerous. It will add nothing to their real level of maturity, and may serve only to create an independent spirit rather than a competent mental outlook.

We continually see the effects of this kind of thinking. On the one hand, we receive continual comments of appreciation for the fact that our book reviews have opened a new door of understanding about the Christian reading market, or the reviews have confirmed parent’s suspicions that many of these books were not what their children should be reading. The parents simply did not have enough data to confirm these suspicions themselves. These thanks come from mature, discerning parents with whom the Spirit bears witness that there is knowledge that is harmful to children. Most of our negative mail comes from young people who wish to set us straight in no uncertain terms because they are already addicted to such reading, or from young parents who grew up on the stuff, and are unable to see the effects it has had on them and will have on their children. Those effects, of course, are that this literature has produced young people who, without experience, discernment, research or prayer, are able to brashly take issue with people who have seen it, done it, prayed over it, researched it, and have many years of experience with which to balance and sort the data—the inexperienced youth teaching the knowledgeable elder rather than wisely considering the matter. The book of Proverbs returns to this one issue countless times because it is such a dangerous path to take. Proverbs 12:1 says, "Whoso loveth instruction loveth knowledge: but he that hateth reproof is brutish." Proverbs 19:27 says, "Cease, my son, to hear the instruction that causeth to err from the words of knowledge." And Proverbs 18:12 says, "Before destruction the heart of man is haughty, and before honour is humility." What a shame that young people are not spending their reading time in Proverbs instead of where they are being misled. How much more credibility their parents would have!

Naturally, parents do not know everything. Questions will occasionally arise for which parents may not have the answer, but it is the parents who are most capable of finding sources for, and determining the verity of, the answer—certainly not the child. Besides, how could a child possibly decide whether the parents have such knowledge or not? Children are in no position to make such decisions, and the theory that the best way for them to gain such knowledge is to make life damaging mistakes is simply ludicrous. Sometimes, children are too stubborn to learn any other way, but that should be considered unfortunate—not a recommended procedure. People who say, "You need to let children go," in other words, leave them to their own devices, are like people who advise farmers to leave their fields to their own devices. The outcome will be similar. There is a reason that God gave children to parents.

3. There is a popular notion that disagreements or bad feelings between parents and children arise because parents simply do not understand the children or the situation, as if a child can really comprehend the situation or the proper course of action. 1 Peter 5:5 says, "Likewise, ye younger, submit yourselves unto the elder. Yea, all of you be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility: for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble." and Hebrews 13:17 says, "Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: for they watch for your souls, as they that must give account, that they may do it with joy, and not with grief: for that is unprofitable for you." The truth is that the young person has no real idea whether his parents understand him or not. He seldom comprehends what the parents do, and often does not even understand himself.

4. Authors often propagate another foolish fancy that a really good parent "finds a way" to align himself with the child or the child’s wishes. This little plant in the mind of a child results in the fact that he/she never realizes that it is the really good parent who is willing to suffer the child’s disfavor for the child’s own benefit. Proverbs 3:12 says, "For whom the LORD loveth he correcteth; even as a father the son in whom he delighteth." Proverbs 12:1 says, "Whoso loveth instruction loveth knowledge: but he that hateth reproof is brutish."

5. Beware of the ever-too-willing outsider who develops that parent-supplanting relationship with your child. This happens all too often in real life, also. Maybe that is because it is such standard fare in literature for youth. Proverbs 6:16-21 says, "These six things doth the LORD hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him: . . .a false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren. My son, keep thy father's commandment, and forsake not the law of thy mother: bind them continually upon thine heart, and tie them about thy neck." Anyone who undermines the parent-child relationship, especially in a God-fearing family, does speak lies because he is in disagreement with God’s Word already on that count. Thus, counsel from him is very liable to also be unsound. Proverbs 4:2-4 says, "For I give you good doctrine, forsake ye not my law. For I was my father's son, tender and only beloved in the sight of my mother. He taught me also, and said unto me, Let thine heart retain my words: keep my commandments, and live." Through the medium of "Christian" books, children are often being taught to listen to others, rather than their parents, but Proverbs 4:1 says, "Hear, ye children, the instruction of a father, and attend to know understanding." And Proverbs 1:8 says, "My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother . . ."

The world is full of those who think that they know more about rearing other parents’ children than the parents themselves. Many consider their divisive influence on the child somehow helpful, since they are so sure that they are smarter than the poor, bumbling parents. They forget that it was the parents who got the child this far. They also seldom seem to consider that the child is pretty decent, otherwise they would have had no interest in him. It also never dawns on them who is responsible for that decency with which they are so anxious to meddle. They think that because they have no devotion to principle, and are willing to agree with the child on everything, that they have some "special" ability to relate to young people. I can only say that authors are no different than other people, and seem to feel the need to plant such individuals in their stories. Double damage occurs here because the author is able to make everything come up roses on paper; however there is always underlying damage when this happens in real life, though many refuse to admit it.

Being in agreement with wrong or evil displays no ability to relate. If one cannot "relate" on the basis of truth and right, one’s involvement is part of the problem, not part of the solution. It would be far better to try to relate or agree on the basis of right, and fail, than to succeed in condoning wrong or evil. It takes no talent, ability, or courage to follow the second course.

6. What about the idea that what parents don’t know doesn’t hurt? Here, again, we have the child deciding what the parents should know, as if the child even has a clue. (In real life they don’t have a clue, and the results are usually disastrous, but in fiction an author will support even the most moronic decision with a happy ending.) Proverbs 1:10 says, "My son, if sinners entice thee, consent thou not." The enticement of sinners is something the child seldom calls to the attention of the parents, especially when encouraged not to do so in the literature he reads. Some other foolish ideas present in children’s literature could fall under this point. A "stick-together" mentality and a myopic loyalty to peers (rather than to God or parents) are two of the worst. Proverbs 1:14-15 says, "Cast in thy lot among us; let us all have one purse: my son, walk not thou in the way with them; refrain thy foot from their path . . ." This is a definite warning to avoid building alliances with peers in which one will then fall prey to the group mentality. Proverbs 11:21 says, "Though hand join in hand, the wicked shall not be unpunished . . ." Where are the Christian authors who are willing to teach young people that no matter how many people they find to take their side, the final result will always be the same? That would be the Christian viewpoint.

7. Here is another philosophy that can probably be guaranteed to generate lack of character. People should pursue their talents. They should avoid slaving at boring and laborious tasks that do not interest them. Such lives are for the lesser folks on the planet. Creative people, or those with "artistic" talents (those with little practical value) are truly "gifted," and to be admired. Scripture tells us that favoring wealthy or talented people is respect of persons. Regarding respect of persons Proverbs 28:21 says, "To have respect of persons is not good: for for a piece of bread that man will transgress." Thus, simply holding people in respect for the wealth or talent they were given means that we are in a mindset ready for sin. Hard work is admirable; talent is a gift at birth—nothing more.

8. Watch out for the fairy-tale "saved by the bell,"—"nick of time,"—"bad guy turns wonderful" ending. Jeremiah 13:23 says, "Can . . . the leopard (change) his spots?" No, nor does real life adapt to our fantasies. A sad but real ending is much more beneficial than a steady diet of romantic endings that gives a young person an inaccurate expectation of adulthood. This is especially true when the good ending comes at the end of a story full of bad judgments. This fosters completely inaccurate expectations of how life will turn out in spite of our decisions. It leads many a young person to think that they can do what they want, and life will turn out the way that they want.

9. Beware of a diet of fairy princess stories. Many a young woman finds herself never being satisfied with a perfectly wonderful husband, because he is a plumber or mechanic, and her instincts have been taught by romantic novels to yearn for that tall, dark, suave, rich, debonair type. Where does the Bible promise this?

10. Be on the lookout for implied feminism. Not only novels, but also biographies, claiming to be Christian, are full of "Christian" characters exuding feminist attitudes and tendencies. There is a constant effort to blur the roles, activities, and purpose of the two genders. God has not forgotten the purpose for which "He created them male and female." Folks, our children are being taught through their Christian reading that Christians are feminists.

11. There is no need for the unnecessary violence and crudeness that is being sold today as Christian literature. We have read books which describe in detail bloodshed, torture, deception, lying, and all manner of evil in general for 150 pages, and then follow with a few paragraphs on how all that is not consistent with the Christian walk. A young person will be more impressed by the 150 page emphasis.

Recently we have read two books claiming to be Christian biographies in which the authors found it necessary to describe characters using the chamber pot. This goes well beyond any necessity for realism in a children’s work.

Don’t fall into the trap of "books have to be appealing." Excitement that appeals to the carnal nature of a young person is far better left unread. Concerning the works of carnality Ephesians 5:11-12 tells us, "And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them. For it is a shame even to speak of those things which are done of them in secret." Also, Philippians 4:8 says, "Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things." There is no wisdom in the philosophy that reading something (anything) is better than reading nothing. Is eating poison better than fasting?

These are a few of the major unbiblical concepts that we most commonly find in literature for young people. They are worth avoiding whenever possible. Though we parents do not see our names in print, our children are reading about us just the same. What our children read about relationships with parents in general becomes part of their attitudes and lives. What they read about life in general becomes part of their lives. There is no erasing of the memory. What goes into a person’s mind is there to stay. How much more effective is it for the Christian parent to prevent wrong things from going into their children’s minds than to deal with the consequences? Again, greater restrictions provide greater understanding.

Are our children reading things that solidify their idea of God and parents, or things that undermine it? Leaders are readers, but be careful what your children read. Here’s a thought that might get our attention. The apostle Paul and Adolf Hitler were both well read.

Jeff Zakula